Undercharged and Overblessed

The other day, I went to Chipotle. I had a free coupon for a burrito so I decided to buy guacamole and chips. I purchased my food and found a seat in the crowded restaurant. Looking at my receipt, I realized  I was charged for salsa and chips, over a dollar cheaper.

As I tried to right the wrong, I was told not to worry about it. I felt blessed for receiving delicious guacamole and salty tortilla chips for a cheaper price, but more importantly I felt blessed for doing the right thing. I felt good about what I had done. I was pleased that I had been raised and taught to do the right thing. When I noticed the error, the decision was not hard to make. It was like it had been made years ago. I want to be a person of integrity, and I'm glad there are many instances in which that is a part of who I am.

Day 14: See Everybody You Talk to through God's Eyes

On Sunday, I was able to be in Logan Utah where I served a good part of my mission. It was so great to be with the people I served among and to be able to go to church with them. I loved my mission very much and this ward was one of my favorites. They are a wonderful group of people.

As a missionary, I often felt a special capacity to see people as God saw them. It wasn't always the case, but sometimes I would be filled with so much love for people I barely knew and sometimes even people I did not know at all. It could happen during a second or third lesson. It could happen as I passed a stranger on the street. As a missionary, I really felt like I got a glimpse of what it means to love and have real charity. Being back with the people I loved and served brought a lot of those same feelings I had on my mission. I felt so much love for the people I was able to visit and see at church. At times I truly believe I was able to see them through God's eyes.

Day 13: Give Someone a Genuine Compliment

Today, I have had the chance to visit Logan, Utah, where I served part of my mission. It has been a pleasure to visit the people I met and grew to love. I was able to visit my ward mission leader and his wife and a couple that I taught who got baptized shortly after I left.

The couple that I had taught on my mission had me and my husband over for dinner. It was so great to see them and be able to talk to them. They fed us lasagna, salad, and garlic toast. It was delicious. I had seconds. And that's saying something because we had already eaten two other meals. I told them how much we appreciated them feeding us dinner and I genuinely complimented them by telling them how good the food was. I felt good complimenting them and letting them know they were appreciated. I want to be the kind of person that gives compliments freely and sincerely.

Day 12: Focus on what you have in common with others

Yesterday, I was on campus and I saw a lot of people. I saw men and women, students and professors. Everybody I saw was different in their own way. Different hair, different bodies, different nationalities.

But, as I looked at people,  there was one thing we all had in common. We are all children of God. Everybody that I interacted with and saw was a child of God. What a beautiful thing to be! I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that I am a daughter of God. It is such a big part of who I am.

Day 11: Speak Kindly

Today in my writing class we did critiques. The class before, several of my classmates gave everyone in the class 750 words from their manuscript. We came to class today having read and made comments about the manuscript section. We spent several minutes talking about what was done well and several minutes giving "helps."

As a writer myself, I love feedback. I love knowing where I can improve. Sometimes I like it more than knowing what works. Because I want to get better and be publishable, so knowing what isn't working or what is confusing is valuable to me. But it can be hard if this information is not communicated correctly or kindly.

So, when giving feedback I always made sure I had said something positive as well. And I made sure to be polite and respectful. I would try to suggest what would make the writing better and never imply that the writing was bad. Because it usually wasn't. I tried to provide building blocks rather than tear the writing apart. I felt good as I did this and know I would want feedback in the same way.

Day 10: Say Thank You

Yesterday, as one of my classes was ending, I learned that one of my classmates lives near Portland Oregon and knows the area pretty well. Since I will be moving to Oregon after graduating, we started talking. She told me how wonderful and beautiful Oregon was. She gave me helpful information about the weather in Oregon and the beaches nearby. She was so excited for me, and I appreciated her enthusiasm.

As we were going our separate ways, I was able to thank her. And I did so kindly because I really meant it. I was grateful for our conversation and I sincerely wanted her to know that. Thank you is such a simple phrase but it means so much when it is said with real intent.

Day 9: Spend 10 Minutes Really Listening to Someone

Yesterday, I had the chance to be listened to and to listen to someone. I had a hard day and it was such a joy to be able to tell my husband about my day. It was so sweet of him to listen politely and really help me feel better. I'm so grateful for his support and the fact that I have someone who will listen to my day to day doings, my needs, my frustrations, and my concerns.

In turn, I was able to listen to my husband talk about his day. It was so wonderful to hear about his successes and I was able to lend understanding and support, or at least a listening ear, as he described the hard parts of his day. I love listening to him and getting to know him better. I love learning about the things he finds important to discuss and learning about the way he thinks. We talk a lot and it is such a joy to be able to communicate with someone so openly. I'm glad he listens to me and I'm glad I listen to him.

Day 8: Show Mercy to Someone

My "showing mercy to someone" is going to be a bit premeditated. The class I TA for has papers due tomorrow and I sometimes have a hard time grading these papers. I'm an English major with and editing minor and so I know a lot of grammatical rules nobody else does. Because I know them and have had it pounded into my brain that they are correct and important, it really can bother me when I see these rules broken. 

Yet, I know it is unfair to hold these non-English majors to the same standard I am held to when they do not have the same knowledge that I have. So, even though I will want to dock points on their papers for certain grammatical mistakes, I am deciding right now that I will be fair but merciful. 

Day 7: Don't criticize actions or circumstances

Yesterday was the Superbowl. Growing up, my family always watched it on Monday. It was always hard for my dad to get through work without hearing who won, and as us kids got older it was harder for us to not hear who won during the school day, but we didn't believe watching the game was a Sunday activity.

The past few years my husband has always gone to a friends house for a giant Superbowl party. He  is not into football and really goes just for the food. And we're talking cream cheese stuffed bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers, quesadillas, homemade salsa, and carne asada. Good stuff. He of course got invited this year and wanted to go. I was hesitant at first because I've always shied away from anything Superbowl related.

However, me and my husband are both graduating and moving out of Utah in April. I knew this would be his last year to go and maybe his last time to see some of these friends. He wanted me to be comfortable keeping the Sabbath day, and I know he wouldn't have forced me to go. But I'm so glad we did. We hardly watched the game, and we got to eat delicious food. We also got to hang out in great company and enjoy time with good friends.

Looking back on the situation, I realize that I was able to not criticize his friends for watching a football game on a Sunday. Instead, I was able to look at the evening as a good time to spend with friends that my husband may not see again. It was an uplifting and enjoyable evening. And I think spending time with those you care about is a wonderful Sunday activity.

Day 6: Forgive Somebody Who Has Wronged You

So, on Saturday I was given the chance to forgive someone who had wronged me. That night, me and my husband had a low key "open house" of sorts to celebrate our recent marriage with some friends who couldn't make it to the actual wedding. All night, I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of a friend who had told me they were coming. The night ended, and that friend never came. I was disappointed. I was sad. We hadn't seen each other in a long time. Driving home, I decided that it was okay and I told myself that they probably had a good reason for not coming. Essentially, I forgave them.

And I'm glad I did. I found out the next day, that they had a very good reason for not coming. I'm glad I was able to forgive them for not coming and be understanding of the situation. I am so grateful for all the times I have been forgiven. By friends, and most importantly by my Heavenly Father. I know how good it feels to be forgiven and I want my character to be a person who is willing to forgive.

Day 5: See a Situation Through the Other Person's Eyes

Okay, so I'm late writing about this one. Yesterday, me and my husband went out to eat, and the restaurant was super busy. It took us about 15 minutes to be seated, and even though we ordered pretty quickly, it took a long time for our food to come. We  didn't even get our water for a while. The longer I had to wait, the more frustrated I was getting. It had been a long day, and I was hungry!

But, if I think about how the waiter must have been working so hard to keep all of the patrons satisfied, it is easier to not be as frustrated. We got our food and water. It was delicious. Overall, it was a wonderful evening out with my husband. Understanding the other person's situation, helped me make the best of mine.

Day 4: Resist the Impulse to Categorize Others

Today's challenge is to not categorize others. I had a really cool experience putting this into practice. I was in one of my classes and the professor, as always, invited a student to come forward and start the class with a prayer.

The student that said the prayer was tall, stockily built, and darker skinned. Immediately I began wondering what ethnicity he was. Was he half Black, Hispanic, Indian? I wasn't really paying attention to the prayer. I quickly realized that it didn't matter. I was categorizing! I'm so glad I caught myself! I stopped thinking about what his appearance might mean about him, and I began to listen to his prayer. It was a very good prayer and I was glad I was able to focus on what was more important.

Day 3: Look Beyond Someone's Looks

My mom has always told me that I have the gift of seeing the beauty in people. Who she would describe as homely, I would view as beautiful or handsome. To me, somebody is so much more than their physical appearance. As you get to know somebody their personality becomes a part of their looks. You begin to see people for who they are, not for what they look like.

Today, as I've interacted with people I know, I've tried very hard to focus on who people are not what they look like. I may be wrong, but it seems like most people think that looking beyond someone's looks means overcoming negative or judgmental feelings towards people who could be deemed "unattractive." But I think this goes both ways. People considered beautiful shouldn't be favored or viewed differently, even if it's positive. Everyone should be viewed equally. For who they are, not for how they look.

Day 2: Overlook Someone's Shortcomings

Today's challenge is to overlook someone's shortcomings. I am a TA for a writing class for non-English majors and I graded short paragraphs for two hours today. I am an English major with an editing minor, and when I grade I often laugh at the "silly" mistakes I see. Because it is not a class for students studying English, I grade fairly and I understand their mistakes, but to myself I am often judgmental and a tad cynical of the errors. Occasionally I get frustrated by grammatical errors that for me are second nature to avoid.

Today, while I was grading I tried to be more understanding. I tried to overlook the grammatical errors. I tried to focus on the meaning that was being conveyed rather than how it was being conveyed. Doing this, I felt much more positive. I felt like I understood the students better and could even relate to them better because I wasn't focusing on their faults.

Day 1: Be Patient with Someone

Patience is a hard attribute to acquire. For today's challenge my "someone" is more of a "something." I had to exercise a lot of patience with my day. It was one of those "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days." Okay, it wasn't that awful, but I didn't get all my homework done, I lost a button on my coat, my computer was giving me a hard time, I missed the bus and had to walk home, etc.

Normally, I am a very happy and cheerful person. However, I tend to get frustrated and moody when things don't go the way I want them to. So today, I had to be patient with the events that were occurring, and I had to be patient with myself. I had to remember that they were out of my control and getting frustrated at the situation or at myself would not help.

I am happy to say that I was very successful and managed a positive attitude despite a succession of mildly trying circumstances. I know that I am capable of remaining positive when I least want to be. I have always written my frustration off as my biggest weakness. I sometimes tell myself I can't help it or control it. It's just part of who I am. Day 1 of the Love challenge has taught me more about myself and the person I want to become.